our will be done, thy kingdom burn.

Interested?

2008-09-25T16:39:31Z

I only use LiveJournal for reading things now, so if you're interested in reading things about me for some reason, go here:

http://deliciouschildren.blogspot.com/

SUCK IT, YOU PRICK

2008-06-04T00:27:46Z

Contemp Lit/Writ: Catrette, Scott	Period: 3
Grade: A+ Score: 99.1% Grade Last Published: 6/3/08 1:13 PM

Category:	Due Date:	Assignment:	Score:	Percent:	Comment:	Submitted Work:
Assignment	3/4/08	1st progress participation	34	34 / 40.0 = 85%
Assignment	3/4/08	Bury the Dead Journal reflection on war & killing	6	6 / 6.0 = 100%
Assignment	4/29/08	The Simpsons: examining satire	21	21 / 24.0 = 87.5%
Discussion	2/8/08	School of Shock article	12	12 / 12.0 = 100%
Discussion	4/28/08	Class Participation as of 4/25	33	33 / 40.0 = 82.5%
Homework	1/17/08	Bury the Dead Response Question	8	8 / 8.0 = 100%
Homework	1/28/08	1960s documentary questions	12	12 / 12.0 = 100%
Homework	1/31/08	Jumping Mouse questions	14	14 / 14.0 = 100%
Homework	5/9/08	"People Like Us" postmodernism and diversity	8	8 / 8.0 = 100%
Homework	5/14/08	Technology in a postmodern society reflection	7	7 / 8.0 = 87.5%
Project	5/5/08	Postmodern Extra Credit Presentations	38	-
Quiz	1/22/08	Cuckoo's Nest Reading Quiz#1	14	14 / 20.0 = 70%
Quiz	1/28/08	Cuckoo's Nest Reading Quiz#2	16	16 / 16.0 = 100%
Quiz	2/14/08	Freudian Term Quiz	51	51 / 55.0 = 92.73%
Quiz	2/26/08	Cuckoo's Nest Reading Quiz#3	20	20 / 22.0 = 90.91%
Quiz	5/9/08	Postmodernism Quiz	36	36 / 48.0 = 75%

A Record of the Lasts That Matter

2008-05-31T07:43:55Z

Yesterday was my last rally setup.
Today was my last rally poster making.
Today was also my last rally.
Today was my last (and also second) last dance. Oh man. Oh man. Except the DJ sucked my balls. And I don't even have balls! Story. Rynell was playing a LOT of techno, and people don't like to dance to techno that much. Helena was like go talk to the DJ, so I was like sure, homie, I will. I am tired of dancing. So I did. The following is what occured during my conversation (I don't really remember the exact wording but it went something like this):
Paulina (P for short): Can you play more rap?
Rynell AKA DJ Showbiz (R for short): What am I playing right now? What am I playing right now?
P: Rap and techno.
R: What should I play?
P: MORE RAP. JUST BECAUSE WE ARE ASIAN DOES NOT MEAN WE ENJOY THIS MUCH TECHNO!
R: Hey, hey, I'm not playing this because you're Asian. We're all people here. We're all people here. I'm black and you're Asian.
P: MOAR RAPZ PLZ, BYE!!! (dances away while losing brain cells over being baffled about exactly what just happened)
R: WHERE MY LADIES AT? WHERE MY LADIES AT? LET ME HEAR YOU MAKE SOME NOISE! SHOUT OUT TO THE SENIORS! WHERE MY LADIES AT? LET ME HEAR YOU MAKE SOME NOISE! PUT YOUR HANDS UP! WHERE MY LADIES AT?
</end conversation>

Dear Leadership & MV

2008-05-29T06:56:04Z

I am exactly two weeks away from no longer being a high school student. At this time in two weeks, I will be at Senior All Night Party, having graduated several hours prior. The school year is ending, along with my high school career, for good.
I spent a great deal of time over the past four years hating Monta Vista and wanting to get the hell out of here. And now, I'm on the brink of leaving. It would be a lie to say that I won't miss this place, because I will. It would be a lie to say that this place didn't change me, because it did.
Throughout the past four years, I think I've grown into myself, and someone I--if I were someone else--can look at and admire. Though others may not agree with the last part of that statement, it is something I say with pride.
I'm trying to find some way to incorporate Leadership into this because it has been the catalyst for this change. And those who have been with me in Leadership (or even when I wasn't in Leadership freshman year) can definitely see the change. I've grown. I went from an antisocial Asian girl into the Gore Princess, 08 Social Manager & Homecoming Princess.
Leadership taught me how to find a way to be myself and to accept myself, but to still find a way to function properly in society. And it sounds like a somewhat contradictory statement, but it holds true. (I don't know if I'm making any sense.) Through Leadership, I found how to make myself fit in without compromising who I am. Through Leadership, I developed a sense of pride and passion in something I considered myself to be disconnected from. And most of all, through Leadership, I learned how to use myself to my advantage to bring a different perspective to the table, and that is something I value more than anything.
This year, one of my goals was to find my place in this class. I'm loud, abrasive, sometimes obnoxious, definitely awkward, and METAL. Coming into the position of a staff relations comissioner, I thought of that, and of myself, in a negative light. Leaving as an elected class officer, I embrace what I used to try to hide and hate. I might not be your average Leadership student, or even your average person. You may or may not like me, but I like myself. I've found that balance that I could never have achieved without Monta Vista and its Leadership class. So... I didn't think I would ever be saying this, but thanks, MV.

PS - I'm tired. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. It makes sense to me.

POSTMODERN!!!

2008-05-20T00:32:25Z

Check out my super rad, postmodern, fragmented, ridiculous music video. Guaranteed to make you lol.

T2 Diabetes!

2008-05-09T08:09:41Z

A-!!!!

2008-03-05T06:21:57Z

Let me take this moment to bask in the glory that is my A- in Statistics Advanced Placement. Before you go off calling me dumb because, oh, it's just Stats. I struggle a lot with math, and it's something that I actually need to be taught. Someone needs to go over all the material and explain it before I understand it and can start to apply it. My teacher does NOT teach. At all. So I've been teaching myself. And struggling. A lot. Even though it's just stats. But now, I have an A- for my efforts for the past few weeks, and I'm proud. So I'm going to post it everywhere and bask in the glory that is my A fucking - in Stats. Until it goes down after the quiz on Friday.

Statistics AP: McCarty, Kathleen	Period: 4
Grade: A- Score: 90.43% Grade Last Published: 3/3/08 9:43 AM

Category:	Due Date:	Assignment:	Score:	Percent:	Grade:	Comment:	Submitted Work:
Assignment	1/11/08	book cover	4	4 / 4.0 = 100%	-
Assignment	1/16/08	Hw 1	26	26 / 24.0 = 108.33%	-
Assignment	1/23/08	Hw 2	16	16 / 16.0 = 100%	-
Assignment	1/30/08	Hw 3	21	21 / 20.0 = 105%	-
Assignment	2/6/08	Hw 4 & EC	18	18 / 16.0 = 112.5%	-
Assignment	2/15/08	Hw 5	28	28 / 28.0 = 100%	-
Quiz	2/7/08	Ch 18 & 19 Quiz	20	20 / 30.0 = 66.67%	-
Test	1/18/08	Unit 4 Quest	37	37 / 50.0 = 74%	-

Warning.

2008-03-03T05:36:46Z

I have a lot of repressed anger, frustration and hate, and it makes me angry (LOL).
I honestly don't give a fuck about many people anymore, and if you happen to fall into that path of rage, well, sucks for you. You can go fuck yourself.
I'm so fucking sick of everyone's stupid bullshit. Don't be a fucking piece of fucking shit douchebag, and I won't be a fucking bitch.

adesteinfidelis @ 2007-12-31T01:50:00

2007-12-31T06:51:06Z

Fuck everyone and their stupid bullshit.

adesteinfidelis @ 2007-10-19T00:17:00

2007-10-19T07:40:40Z

tomorrow is the day i've revolved my life around for the past 6 weeks. hooray. MV08 is amazing!

Royalty at last.

2007-09-22T04:31:38Z

I know everyone knows that I'm the One & Only Gore Princess, etc., etc. but somehow it's completely, totally official, except I have something else to add to my title. Paulina the One & Only Gore HOMECOMING 2007 princess :). Tchyeahhhh. I got voted onto court!

Fucking pissed.

2007-08-20T18:47:34Z

Today was registration & portraits for my school. Being the badass that I am, and wanting to continue my legacy of epic school portraits (see figure 1), I decided that my senior photo (even though it doesn't go in the yearbook & is for ID/computer purposes only) would be magnificent. I woke up in the morning and made myself look all pretty (see figure 2) and drove to school to make copies of fliers for the 08 BBQ (which all of you Monta Vista 08ers should go to, by the way) and to save a spot to get into Safari. I ran around distributing fliers and trying to figure out a face to make during my photo (see figure 3) until doors opened and then went in to get my shit taken care of so I could go home and sleep. I made it through the entire thing until pictures with parents and my peers commenting on my face and how hilarious my ID was going to be, etc. etc. In fact, I ran into my friend's mom, and she laughed at me and
said she was going to tell her son about my kvlt, trve badassery (since he also listens to metal). I walk in to get my picture taken, and there was this fat, old, Mexican bitch in what she thought was a dress (in reality, it was either really stiff garbage bag or a potato sack) taking photos. I was like, oh, okay, whatever, it should be fine, right? WRONG. I sat down, and she took one look at me and ran around the room asking if I could look that awesome. Finally she asked one of the special ed teachers, and the teacher said no, so the fat, old, Mexican bitch made me take it off or else I would not get my ID. After I took off the makeup, I was really, really, really angry, so I sat down for my picture with some other Mexican bitch, and scowled at the camera with bad posture. You'd think after ruining my life, and trying to bring me down, they'd maybe cut me some slack, right? WRONG AGAIN. I sat there scowling while having to distort my body into weird positions with bad posture and when it came time to take my picture, the dumb bitch would not take it because I wouldn't fucking smile. She tried to butter me up by telling me that I had a pretty face and that smiling would only enhance my beauty. Fuck that, and I told her I would just keep sitting there for however long it took or people got pissed off (which they already were about the other fat bitch making me take off my makeup). So finally she took my photo without telling me when so I couldn't scowl more.

I'm still angry. It was going to be fucking epic. If I had rainbows and puppies on my face, would she have made me wipe that shit off? Nope. Fucking bitch.

And in the words of my friend, Casey (whose mother thought I was hilarious), the life of one who is trve is a gr1m one.

Figure 1.

Figure 2.

Figure 3.

If you read all that, congratulations. If you didn't... uh, cool?

adesteinfidelis @ 2007-06-22T18:21:00

2007-06-23T01:26:59Z

Ten to fifteen hours later, my first project for my photoshop for dumbasses class is done. :)

Click to enlarge.

adesteinfidelis @ 2007-06-04T16:05:00

2007-06-04T23:21:39Z

So I'm pretty much fucking myself over with this, but I'm pretty confident that I'm not going to go spiralling into the ground like the last time I felt this way towards someone.

I forgot what it felt like to have butterflies in your stomach. I forgot what it felt like to have it feel as if your heart stopped beating and you're trying not to breathe out of fear of losing the moment. I forgot how amazing this could be when you're with someone who feels the same way you do; has respect for you; who doesn't see you as someone to pump and dump; who loves you just the way you are, quirks and everything.

I am blown away.

adesteinfidelis @ 2007-05-17T16:25:00

2007-05-18T00:03:23Z

All I have to say is… so much <3. I'm completely blown away, swept off my feet, etc. and out of my stupid ten thousand month rut.

This summer will be so amazing, even if it’s only going to be for a few days. I'm so anxious, but so very excited.
I'm half hoping that the dates I picked previously work out, but alsohalf hoping that I will have to push it back a week so I can hit up Summer Slaughter in either Oregon or Washington and go out.

One month.
I cannot wait.
It can only be amazing after these past couple of months.

Yay weekend!

2007-05-06T23:59:39Z

It's been a pretty awesome weekend. Well, for the most part. Well, mainly today & last night.

SAT II's were killer. Sort of. I kicked ass on the bio one, and got my butt rapes on the math 2c one.

Regional championships pool play yesterday went alright. I believe we won two, lost one. Today, we won three, lost one. And we beat that fucking Sierra Nevada team twice. Yesss.

Nekrogoblikon was fucking amazingggggggg. I was so scared that I wasn't going to be able to make it to the show, so I ran from the last match we played to the car. Changed super lightning speed fast while my mom was driving. Arrived EARLY all smelly, gross, disheveled and whatnot (ie. pockets sticking out, underwear hanging out of my pants somehow, hair a mess, etc.). Opened with "Goblin Island", then setlist was as follows, "Army of Goblins", "Goblins are Better than Trolls", "In the Hall of the Goblin King", "Goblins Ahoy!" andddd um, "They Came from Space". (I think?) Something like that. Yeah. Spent $8 in change on goblin stickers & pins. Yeah. Hahaha, my original method of getting into the show, but then I arrived way late so it was free! Hoorayyy! And that's all I really have to say about that for now.

Shower time & then stress time, yo.
Toodles.

691

2007-04-25T05:00:32Z

Fucking six hundred ninety one million miles away. Maybe not millions, but it feels like it.
I do not even know.
This is killing me.
Sucks to be you lololol. Fuckin' 691.

Do not know what to do. Do not know what to say. There is nothing I can say. Once again, all words slip from my grasp and I am left stuttering like a moron as all my thoughts build up.
There is so much I want to tell you, but I can't. Not appropriate and it hurts you too.

I hate 691.
And I'm just contributing to the problem.
Wish there was some way around this because everything would be so damn perfect.

Six hundred ninety one billion light years away.

frowns

2007-04-24T03:22:37Z

I realized over the past couple of days that I'm pretty good at putting myself into unrealistic and improbable situations.

*sighs*

Amazed, but at the same time, I'm disappointed. Summer is not all too far away though, and visiting should be pretty kick ass.

Damnit.

LIFE!

2007-04-17T20:31:37Z

May 5th! :)
</busy weekends>

adesteinfidelis @ 2007-04-16T21:02:00

2007-04-17T05:13:10Z

Ok, so the idea is you write down 10 things about 10 different people, that you wished you could say in real life. Don't specify who the people are. Taken from </a></b></a>biaxident

#1. I hate you. I'm sick of you. I wish you'd just go die in a ditch. I wonder how much of those last three sentences is true.

#2. You're amazing. I love you. Thank you for always being there for me and listening to me rant/rave about stupid shit. Even if whatever you tell me doesn't make me feel better or help at all, it's still relieving to know that there's someone out there who doesn't want me to shut up/someone who gives a damn. I'm glad that we've been friends for over a year now despite all the driving around and stuff I make you do for me when we hang out so that I don't get my ass busted. <3

#3. I'm really excited for when you're finally up here & we can hang out like crazy. I seriously think we're going to be like Siamese twins, and that will be a hell of a lot of gas used up, but it will probably be worth it. Oh, also, that means I get to meet you too.

#4. Sometimes I wish you'd just leave or disappear so that everything would be easier. You're an asshole, and I feel no guilt when I say that.

#5. I love you so much. I know that I'm probably a shitty friend at times because I get so wrapped up in other things, but in the end, you're the one who is always there for me. And you're someone who I can tell everything to, and have all these crazy adventures with, and we never get in trouble, just because it's us. I love us.

#6. I like you. :) You're really easy to talk to even if you're a little intimidating at times. I love our random phone conversations and "kung fu gland" whatnots. Can't wait to actually meet you because that will be very, very interesting. <3

#7. I miss you so much. The short week that we spent together was one of the best, ever. Not even kidding. And, everything else you already know because I wrote you that badass letter which you never responded to.

#8. You're actually pretty cool. Most of the time. When people aren't asking me to hook them up with you. And I'll probably never tell you this, but I love you.

#9. I'm a bitch to you most of the time, and you're an ass, but you're crazy awesome. Thanks for always being an ass, otherwise I'd probably get completely out of line. Also, you'll get your sweatshirt/jacket back eventually.

#10.

Prom madness.

2007-04-09T23:52:12Z

Well, now that the initial prom letdown stage is over, I can talk about it and laugh and hope that senior ball (which really is the more important one) kicks ass, rapes ass, destroys ass, something of that sort.

So Jamie comes over around 5ish because I told him to, and I'm not ready yet because we had to redo my hair twice (I originally wanted my hair curled, but it looked terrible so I had to wash my hair again and stuffs) and we still needed to do my makeup. So after all that is finished, I head downstairs thinking that I look fucking awesome, gorgeous, you know the dealio, and I don't know where he has gone. I walk past mi madre who tells me I should have gone with Neri instead and into the family room to find him sprawled out on my kitchen table looking like he has not seen a shower in aeons. (yikes #1). I said hello, and I got a caveman grunt, and upon further inspection, I find out that he also didn't shave (yikes #2). Then he says the nicest thing he will say to me all night, "You smell good." which is not really what I wanted to hear, because hello, I thought I looked pretty hot (yikes #3). We took photos and then headed off to Patricia's house.
At Patricia's house, I went upstairs where all the other ladies were and left Jamie sitting awkwardly amongst the rest of the male dates. Then I helped some people look fabulous (like me, HAHAHAHA) until everyone else came. After our entire party arrived, we found some random male wandering around Patty's neighborhood to take photos of us, and then we headed off to the La Pastia. Nick and Natalie told me that I could go in their car, so I was really excited since it was really, really, really awkward with Jamie.
Throughout the duration of the car ride, my date was being pretty inconsiderate and he kept texting people (yikes #4). Now, I'm a pretty chill person. I don't really mind if you text people, but at the very least, be discreet, and don't have the volume of it be like, one million zillion decibels. After a relatively awkward car ride of me and Natalie reliving prom moments from last year, and Nick and Jamie ("Do you know Jubin?") talking about hockey, we reached our dinner location.
So we go in, Jamie doesn't bother holding open the door for me, doesn't pull out my chair, doesn't take my coat from me, (yikes #5, #6, #7) and now I'm hoping that he's really hungry and isn't thinking straight, so after dinner, everything should be better. (Wrong.) He continued texting until the rest of our group arrived (yikes #8), and then got up to "use the bathroom" every 10 minutes (yikes #9). Our waitress brought out the bread, vinegar, & olive oil and whatnots, and he kept rudely reaching across me to get whatever (yikes #10). The dinner itself was tasty, and then all the females got up to do the whole cliched bathroom break.
This one gets its own chunk of text because it was one of the highlights of my night, and quite possibly the most fun. We went through about 30 minutes of date bashing and laughing and fixing our makeup& hair and whatnots. Halfway through this adventure, two ladies walked into the restroom, and while they urinated, they were listening to our conversation. Upon their exit, they gave us some excellent advice: "Don't date guys under 25." Well said, but that's a little illegal for now. Just a little. We all paraded out of the bathroom, back to the restaurant where the guys have already paid and began our journey to the Corinthian Event Center.
Yet another awkward car ride ensued with plenty of texting, so I was really relieved when we got to the parking structure. Jamie and I had a pretty fun moment quoting Impaled 'cause he told me that St. Julian's Hospital was right around the corner. "If we make zee incision here, we can minimize tissue damage." "Don't worry, it will only hurt... until you die!" Then we reached the CEC, and I thought that everything was going to be okay. (Wrong again!) We took our photos, I said hi to lots of people (including a drunk Dylan Gantley which was one of the funniest things ever), and we went downstairs to the dance floor.
My friends and I proceeded to get our groove on, and I'm trying to salvage the rest of my night when I turned around to find Jamie just standing there (yikes #11). I'm like, hello, dance please, and he's like okay, and starts doing god knows what, I don't even know, but I do a damn good imitation of it. I told him to get lower because I'm a little bit on the short side, and he says okay, and continues doing god knows what. He also kept staring at random dust particles flying through the sky, the ceiling, and random people, and I was like, I realize I'm short, but I exist, please look down. We went to get something to drink and he told me, "I listen to grindcore, so I'm a bad dancer." (yikes #12). Now, if you know me, I go kind of crazy doing my own thing, and I know I'm not a good dancer. I don't care if you are equipped with the skills to be on "Dancing with the Stars"; what I care about is whether or not you're trying and whether or not you're having fun, which is clearly what he wasn't doing. It continued on like this for the rest of the night, including through the slow songs, in which he half-assed shuffling his feet while looking at particles flying through the air.
Postprom we went to Ihop, and he pretty much fell down on the table because he was "oh so tired". (Hm, now whose fault is that for getting no sleep the night before? You sure didn't tire yourself out from dancing.) And it was rude.

It makes me really mad that he didn't even try to have a good time or to make me have a kickass time. It also makes me mad that I had low expectations for prom already, and it didn't even that. And one more thing that makes me mad... I had a bunch of other people who I could have asked, but I asked him 'cause I thought it was going to be fun, and it wasn't.
One awesome dance ruined, and all the planning & getting ready kind of went down the drain. Oh well. At least I looked pretty good, and my shoes were hot, and my friends are hilarious.

Still laughing.

2007-04-07T21:42:41Z

Oh, that's real freaking mature of you. I say one thing and you're jumping to block and delete me from all sort of internet things.
Don't you think that's a little hypocritical of you, my dear?

You're a hoot and a half.
(The wonders of getting beneath people's skin.)

And I'm still laughing.

adesteinfidelis @ 2007-04-06T16:52:00

2007-04-07T00:13:28Z

Less than 24 hours.
Anxious.
I want it to be over. Now.

But I'm also a little excited.

Let the prom hype begin? Perhaps.

(My toes look pretty.)

I really, really

2007-04-03T18:51:42Z

fucking hate prom right now.

I am thisclose to cancelling this entire thing. Fuck. This. Shit.

OZZFUCKINGFEST2007

2007-04-02T21:58:34Z

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. BEHEMOTH & CHTHONIC HAVE BEEN ADDED TO THIS YEAR'S OZZFEST. THIS IS SO FUCKING AWESOME. I AM GOING TO PISS MY PANTS.

3 Inches of Blood, Nile, Daath, Lamb of God (sort of), Behemoth & Chthonic. HELL FUCKING YES.

Pardon me while I piss in my pants.

That makes me wonder... who the fuck is going to play Sounds of the Underground?! (Please, oh please, Bloodbath. But wait, they're recording in early June, damnit.)

This summer is going to fucking kick ass.